Mexican Thanksgiving

The burn on my neck crinkles.
The day spent nestled in a book.
It’s unlike me to spend time away from the ocean
immersed in the fantasy of it all.

The waves,
Raw like my being.
cool water captures me in the warmth of no control.
water whipped, sand swirled, hair salted.

I read my book.
My neck crinkled by the sun.
pain that can only be tamed by the waves.

Time for a New, Better Day

Falling away from anything that I’ve known

Even within and from the day just lived

There is fear there. 

In all of it.

Wrapped around me. 

Denver Rain

combines with my tears.

the collar on my shirt.

the rain it finds all those places.

A Detroit Export

I am obsessed with cities

In which you live.

You are everywhere.

And nowhere.

You are alone in the crowd

And I can't see you

until you let me.

We lay there.

There is no progression

Though everything has changed.

Your old ipod plays in the background.

We hear it.

Together.

I feel more from you, with the music playing.

I think and you draw a blank.

Your bed is perfection.

Philadelphia River

There are sometimes things

that I remember

when I hear water

in the stream flowing.

There are places I've been

Here, and in my dreams.

I shared with you.

There were plans and people

and smells and silence.

There was earth.

There was us.

There was this.

Rain Drops

bright yellow raincoat

against the steaming ground and cold rain drops.

Come with me, simple arguments.

Refrain

you are alone.

and I can't help you.

You are shielded.

But not by the one who loves you.

You scream.

But the padded walls won't let them hear.

You fight, but your gown gives no room for an explosion.

You are stuck.

Your wrists are tied.

But not the way you do it.

the act no longer comforts you.

You struggle.

They are no longer soft.

But leather that cuts in,

not enough to relieve the pain of your day.

Just enough to feel and hurt with the struggle.

It's lonely where you are.

powerless.

It's hopeless where you stand.

in a room for one.

You're scared.

That you will never move on.

Your body gives, your mind slows, you collapse.

The stiffness in your neck releases.

your diaphram returns to normal.

You are asleep.

For now.

You are gone.

Maybe tomorrow brings peace.

The cold floor stings your aching wrists.

you awake.

you muscle yourself to bed.

you sleep.

Maybe today will be different than the past.

The nurse wakes you for meds.

you struggle.

again

It Creeps In

It creeps in.

It creeps in like it always does.

following the footsteps that even I couldn’t retrace. 

It weeps inside the core of who I am.

Festering in all those places accessed only by him.