Lost.

Piles everywhere.
My life in organized torture.
What the hell am I doing?
Can someone please tell me?

I could have lived in Arizona.
I could have stayed with friends.
I could have been with him.
I could have had it all.

I couldn’t, and really it wouldn’t.
But I could have tried.

Now, an OCD tornado surrounds me.
A year later I move again.
Looking for something that I will never have.

I tasted it in Arizona.
On my fingertips.
The sun comforted with the warmth on my face.
Held by my friendships.
Held by a man I could have seen loving.
Now lost. Again.

What the hell is a matter with me?
When will I learn?
When will I just stop running away from my life?